


Less Dead (Inside)

by sozmom



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Fluff, M/M, lots of john cena references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:53:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6480652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sozmom/pseuds/sozmom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you telling me.."</p><p>"don't"</p><p>"That I ruined a perfectly good suit.."</p><p>"look.."</p><p>"BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO BE JESUS!"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Less Dead (Inside)

Honestly Raphael did not have the time or the wardrobe choice to go fishing for fledglings in the Hudson river. And yet here he was. Wading in dirty river water while wearing a, now, completely ruined personally tailored  Michael Kors Suit. All thanks to Simon.

When Raphael pulls him safely to shore he punches him square in the jaw.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?"

Simon gives him a sort of dazed glassy look. He resembled a puppy that just had it's first bath.  

"Well  I thought if I could run fast enough I might be able to, theoretically, run across water"

Raphael blinks. Then he blinks again because holy shit that's the stupidest thing he's ever heard.

"Are you telling me.."

"don't"

"That I ruined a perfectly good suit.."

"look.."

"BECAUSE YOU TRIED TO BE JESUS!"

Simon coils back from the leader, very afraid that he may actually throw him back into the Hudson.

Raphael considers it but figures he'd probably go in after him again and the suit has been through enough today.

 _He_ has certainly been through enough today.

....................

He says goodbye to the suit in the proper way.

By burning it.

It's somewhat because he cant stand the thought of it going in the trash.

It's mostly because he needs something to take his frustration out on.

....................

"I wish I was Bella Swan" The fledgling exclaims. He's lying on his back in the training room, staring up at the ceiling. Raphael takes a moment to appreciate him in all his post-training glory. His hair is a sinful mess and a small bit of his shirt has ridden up showing a nice bit of flesh. Raphael pushes down the thoughts of pressing kisses to that bit of skin and trailing them all the way up if he's feeling sweet.  If he's feeling something else he'll trail them down until..

"She totally got off easy! I mean her vampire training included a lot of sex if I remember it right. How much sex have I had. None. Nought. Nada!" Simon complains, throwing his hands in the air.

"Oh the injustice" Raphael quips back and totally doesn't think about vampire training sex. Simon throws him a withering look before he slowly moves into a sitting position.

"Help me up, I think I'm ready to start again"

Raphael helps him up and if he held on to Simon's hand longer than really necessary well that was no ones business.

..................

"Hey Raph?"

"My name is.."

"JOHN CENA" Simon yells and Raphael is horrified to hear Stan enthusiastically kazoo-ing  the ridiculous theme.

This was the sixth time this month. The fledgling is smarter than he looks because he waits for Raphael to forget the joke before doing it again.

And now he's corrupted poor Stan.

"I loathe you" Raphael says, shoving past a laughing Simon.

"LOVE YOU TOO!" He yells it loud enough that almost everyone in the hotel can hear it.

Raphael regrets a lot of things in his life in that moment.

.................

The sun was rising and the hotel was slowly getting quieter. Raphael's favourite part of the day was always this. When everyone makes it in safely and the hotel slowly loses it's bustle until there isn't a soul out of their coffin but him.

He makes his way through the empty corridors, walking the familiar path to his room. He hears the occasional rustling from someone not yet asleep but tonight there's no one in need of a soothing word. It's a blessing really.

He nears his room but stops before he enters. His next door neighbour was the annoying fledgling. Raphael put him there so he  could keep an eye on him as he seemed to have a knack for getting himself into trouble. When he comes to think of it he hasn't seen the little pain in his ass all night.

Just to make sure he didn't run off back to the institute again Raphael decided to check on him. That was his first mistake.

His second mistake was asking Simon what he was up to.

"Movie marathon. Since I finally got internet installed here I've been binge watching but I ran out of tv shows days ago. You can get so much done when you don't have to stop for pee breaks"

"Right.." He said intending to leave before Simon went on one of his pop culture spiels.

"Hey Raph?"

He caught himself just in time. "Yes Simon" He smiles back smugly.  The fledgling looks briefly disappointed and Raphael enjoys the fleeting feeling of success. Simon must pick up on how pleased with himself he's feeling because of course he wants to ruins Raphael's good mood.

"Why don't you watch with me?" It's said in such a sweet tone, complete with a batting of eyelashes and big puppy eyes.

The douchebag knew how to get under his skin.

"No really I cant"

"Really you can"

His third mistake was not having any form of backbone when met with those pouting lips.

He agrees to watch one movie with Simon.

They end up marathoning the entire Harry Potter series.

His fourth mistake was getting attached to Dobby.

................

"Fledgling I swear to god if you die I'll kill you" Raphael threatens as he scoops a bleeding Simon off of the ground. He tries not to panic too much but it's kind of hard when holy shit Simon might die.

"Y'know your logic would be unsound in the human world" SImon croaks out. Raphael ignores him and tries to think. Where should he go? Who can make this better? Then it hits him.

"We're going to Magnus Bane" Raphael says taking off towards his apartment.

"He'll fix me with glitter" The fledgling mumbles before ungraciously passing out.

"quedarse conmigo un poco más largo" Raphael whispers.  "Dios, you better stay"

.............

The fledgling awakes a day after the demon attack. Raphael drops what he's doing instantly and rushes to Magnus's apartment.

"He carried you here in his arms. Princess style. I've never seen him more concerned over something that wasn't clothes.." He hears Magnus say and hell no, he needs to stop that right now.

"He has a thing fo--" "Simon, you're awake. Good. Lets get going" Raphael interrupts their conversation before it can go any further.

"Ah ah ah, where's my payment?" Magnus asks holding out his hand. Raphael sighs and hands over the package that was filled with a bunch of Camille's old jewellery. At least there was something the evil wench was good for.

"C'mon Raph, I missed an episode of gossip girl while I was passed out" Simon says and he leads Raphael out of Magnus's apartment by the hand.

He doesn't let go of Raphael's hand until they near the Dumort.

...........

It takes a while for Raphael to get any alone time with Simon as it seems everyone in the hotel and they're uncle were coming to see if he was okay.  
The final person leaves the fledglings room and Raphael stands outside the door. Contemplating whether or not he should do this.

"Are you going to come in or just stand there all night?" Simon asks. Raphael inhales, fixes his hair and straightens his shirt before he pushes the door open. Inside Simon is messing with the cd player he had put in his room.

He waves a distracted greeting at Raphael.

"I think we should talk Simon" Raphael starts, because they do. He nearly saw him die .... again. But for real this time. Bury the casket kind. A pleasant crooning comes out from the player and Simon turns his attention to the clan leader.

"Nah" Simon says, making his way over to Raphael. "I can think of better things we could do" He pulls Raphael flush against him.  The fledgling hesitates for a moment before he starts swaying back and forth. Raphael sways with him, arms circling around his shoulders.

"Honestly I thought you were going to punch me at first" Simon murmurs. It's not the most romantic thing you can whisper in someones ear but Raphael will take it.

"I still might" Raphael teases back but he's trying desperately to hide his smile in Simon's shirt. Simon chuckles and Raphael can feel it.

They sway a bit longer in silence. Letting the music do all the talking for them.  
"I have no idea why you like me" Simon admits, burying his head between the junction of Raphael's neck and shoulder.

Raphael ponders the statement for a moment. Why does he like Simon? There's the base level of he's handsome. He's got a great ass but thats the least of it. Simon's smart, he's tough and brave. He endures and endures and always has a joke or a smile to crack for whoever needs it. Raphael sometimes thinks he's a foreign creature, sent by god to test his already limited patience. He sometimes thinks Simon and him are so alike it's suffocating.  Simon makes him feel things he's never felt for anyone before. He drives him crazy and he loves every second of insanity.

"You make me feel ...  less ... dead inside" He replies lamely. He's never been good with words but this is truly the worst thing he could say to try and articulate how Simon makes him feel. But by the love of the maker Simon gets it.

"You make me okay with being dead" He says  with a soft little smile. Raphael wants to kiss him so bad.  So he does.

He stands on his tiptoes and presses the lightest of kisses on the fledglings lips. With a tilt of his head Simon deepens the kiss, turns it into something more.

Simon always had a knack for making something in place where nothing was before.

.........

Raphael awakes to Simon poking him repeatedly.

"Y'know most lovers kiss each other awake" He complains, blinking sleep from his eyes.

"Oh. I didn't even think of that" Simon says,  a sappy look on his face. Raphael kisses the look right off.

He wont mind being poked awake by insufferable fledglings if it meant he got to kiss them afterwards.

...........

"Hey Raph?"

"That's not my name"

"Then what's your name?"

"My na-- wait. I will break up with you I swe-"

"JOHN CENA"

 

Raphael doesn't break up with Simon. He does break the kazoo

**Author's Note:**

> reuploaded because it glitched out.  
> enjoy this crack we all need it after that episode.


End file.
